I'm not scared anymore

Since I know that every reader of my blog found their way here via my brother's blog, I will continue with my own thoughts of New Years resolutions. During my short 40 years on this earth, I really have not made that many resolutions. Growing up, I witnessed my mom start so many projects that went unfinished... so early on, I decided that promising anything to anyone was possibly a bad idea. I suppose that's why I tell my boys "maybe" so often. My little one tells my all the time, "Maybe sometimes means yes, but mostly it means no."

This year, I have made a few promises to myself. There are the usual diet and exercise blah, blah, blah.. But, I convince myself so many times during the year that these are valuable things to work on, that I don't think I can consider them New Years Resolutions. For me, they are All the Year Resolutions. Save money, keep organized, be more patient... more All the Year Resolutions. This year I have something BIG.

Now, as most of you know I am crazy. Certifiable, I think. So this new resolution I have might not suprise any of you. The reason I think I will actually follow through is that I have been researching this for about 3 years... well maybe 2... but it's been a really long time. It's something I am dying to do, I actually have had dreams about it. But there has always been one huge thing holding me back. Now, I am not usually a fearful person. As a nurse, I have done a lot of things to a lot of people that would send the average person scampering under the bed to cry with their blankie. I am usually not afraid. But this is a big one. Really big.

Lye.

Not lie... but lye. The stuff you can only get at Ace Hardware after you talk to the old guy about plumbing. You know the guy... he's got grey hair, wears a flannel shirt, gets his hair cut at the barber and wears Old Spice on Sunday. He's the go to guy if you want something you can't find at Home Depot. AND you have to prove yourself. If you don't know exactly what you are talking about and have just the right hardware store buzz words - you are cut off. Sorry miss, I'm sorry, we can't help you. You can't handle hardware.

But little does he know that I can. I can put in a faucet, cut wood with a scroll saw, and assemble anything. So... I am ready.

I have purchased lye.

For what you ask?

I will make soap.

Real old fashioned like our great grandmother used to make soap. Well, not quite like she used to make. I will probably not use as much tallow, and more than likely I will use all olive oil. I'm sure Anna O'Connor did not use olive oil because she didn't cook pasta. But olive oil soap is so good for my skin, especailly in the winter, and it's quite expensive to purchase. So, I will make my own. I have the supplies already, the olive oil, the thermometers, the proper utensils and containers, and the lye.

The lye does not scare me anymore. I will make soap.